Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. But enough about watching Manchester United, try doing that whilst owning their defenders in FPL as well. Like turning up to a live torture event and saying PICK ME! Fuck this shit, let’s dive in to the Gameweek 36 wreckage. ONANA – 5.0 – MANCHESTER UTD Who…
Imagine waiting 35 weeks to play a wildcard for this tornado of horseshit. Players going down like they’re in Enemy of the fucking Gates the second they enter my team. Let’s dive in before two more get bloody snipered in Gameweek 35. EDERSON – 5.5 – MANCHESTER CITY I’ve been burnt by the Wildcard/Bench Boost…
What is left at this point, but to pick ourselves off the turf and somehow find a way to keep going in the face of such reckless shite. Deep breath. Let’s dive in and try and forget any of this ever happened in Gameweek 33. MURIC – 4.3 – BURNLEY Burnley have had half the…
GAMEWEEK 30’S PISS POOR THINGS I hope you all had a good Easter, sat there with your fucking roasts, chocolate and FPL points whilst some people died on the fucking cross and got none. They also didn’t get the Team of the Weak article for Gameweek 30, either. Let’s do this. LENO – 4.8 –…
THE HUNGER BENCH GAMES I don’t think we need to waste any time here. Let’s dive in and not see Phil Foden absolutely anywhere. DUBRAVKA – 4.2 – NEWCASTLE I don’t want to say that Nick Pope was a big loss, but Newcastle had conceded 3 goals once in an entire year with him in…
Well, who to Captain. No Salah? No Son? No Bowen? No problem; we here at attackingfootball have got you covered this gameweek (you are completely on your own afterwards.) As most owners will know, Fantasy has been a particular scarcity of fantasy options recently with international tournaments, injuries and a plethora of other factors that…
Which players promised us so much this season… and have thus far delivered nothing but a fistful of faeces. Let’s rubber up, and dive the hell in to FPL TEAM OF THE WEAK – THE FIRST HALF. FLEKKEN – 4.5 – BRENTFORD Ranked top of Eric Freeman’s GKs for this season, Flekken has been so…
THE SOLANKE GOODBYE I’m not here to stand on fucking ceremony. Let’s dive in and see what dickheads dipped themselves in urine and soiled our teams this week. Quick, before we lose our fucking points and don’t show enough respect. EDERSON – 5.5 – MANCHESTER CITY Averaging just 2.9 points per game, even calling Ederson…
A seasonal banquet of bastardness. Join me in unwrapping this lump of coal, soaked in shit and fisted northward until you vomit it up. Let us dive in. Goggles on. SANCHEZ – 4.7 – CHELSEA Absolutely insistent on putting his defence under pressure again and again, RDZ literally sold this tosser because he couldn’t pass…
I apologize for not being able to write my Gameweek 15 article due to the extremely short turnaround time. However, there weren’t many players who could have made a big impact during that week. One of the most popular moves were Turner to Dubravka or Turner to Kelleher. If you followed my advice from my…
