What is left at this point, but to pick ourselves off the turf and somehow find a way to keep going in the face of such reckless shite. Deep breath. Let’s dive in and try and forget any of this ever happened in Gameweek 33. MURIC – 4.3 – BURNLEY Burnley have had half the…
GAMEWEEK 30’S PISS POOR THINGS I hope you all had a good Easter, sat there with your fucking roasts, chocolate and FPL points whilst some people died on the fucking cross and got none. They also didn’t get the Team of the Weak article for Gameweek 30, either. Let’s do this. LENO – 4.8 –…
Which players promised us so much this season… and have thus far delivered nothing but a fistful of faeces. Let’s rubber up, and dive the hell in to FPL TEAM OF THE WEAK – THE FIRST HALF. FLEKKEN – 4.5 – BRENTFORD Ranked top of Eric Freeman’s GKs for this season, Flekken has been so…
A seasonal banquet of bastardness. Join me in unwrapping this lump of coal, soaked in shit and fisted northward until you vomit it up. Let us dive in. Goggles on. SANCHEZ – 4.7 – CHELSEA Absolutely insistent on putting his defence under pressure again and again, RDZ literally sold this tosser because he couldn’t pass…
GIVE ME SOMETHING FOR THE PAIN Crash, bang, fucking hell what a shitshow. 8 weeks down and the only positive to this season so far is that it’s almost 25% of the way through. Let’s see which pillocks littered the gates of hell this Team of the weak. ONANA – 4.9 – MANCHESTER UNITED I’ve…
THE DEFENCE RESTS Literally. What the fuck were these useless clown ticklers doing. More minus points than a fucking maths convention. Let’s dive in and see who needs to be metaphorically hung, drawn and quartered this week. TEAM OF THE WEAK – GAMEWEEK 7. EDERSON – 5.6M – MANCHESTER CITY A welcome return to Ederson…
Tripe. Shite. Piss. Which reckless simpletons have made their way into the hallowed halls of excrement this weekend. Let us not stand around aimlessly like a Brentford back four without Ben Mee. Let’s dive in. FODERINGHAM – 4.5 – SHEFFIELD UNITED If a team physically cannot defend set pieces, you have to look at the…
Crash, bang, wallop… what a fucking shitshow. Let’s see which XI pillocks dropped the proverbial football this weekend. Well? Let’s dive the absolute hell in. ONANA – 5.0 – MANCHESTER UNITED It’s hard to blame a keeper when a player runs 70 yards without a tackle on goal. But also, simply lying on the floor…
Hindu Monkey casts his sobbing face over which XI players let themselves and their families down this gameweek. Yes, I know there is a game left, but I’m off to the seaside tomorrow to rescue some donkeys, so you’re just going to have to cope with this a day early. Let us dive into GW2’s…
Hindu Monkey casts his withering eye over which XI players let themselves down on the opening weekend of the Premier League season. Let us dive in. And gently cry ourselves to sleep if we owned these hapless fuckwits. PICKFORD – 4.5M – EVE 1 save, 2 points… this was not a happy start for Everton,…