A seasonal banquet of bastardness. Join me in unwrapping this lump of coal, soaked in shit and fisted northward until you vomit it up. Let us dive in. Goggles on. SANCHEZ – 4.7 – CHELSEA Absolutely insistent on putting his defence under pressure again and again, RDZ literally sold this tosser because he couldn’t pass…
I apologize for not being able to write my Gameweek 15 article due to the extremely short turnaround time. However, there weren’t many players who could have made a big impact during that week. One of the most popular moves were Turner to Dubravka or Turner to Kelleher. If you followed my advice from my…
I’m going to be up front and honest with you all right from the start. Darwin Nunez is in here. It’s not the first time, and it won’t be the last. Will the FPL Community ever learn? Or will it continue to be led down the garden path by the Pied Pipers of Analytics FC?…
The deadline for Gameweek 14 is approaching, but before that, some crucial European fixtures await our FPL assets. Newcastle will play in Paris and need a favourable result to stay in the UCL. Manchester United must win against Galatasaray in Turkey to continue their run in Europe. Arsenal aims to secure top spot by winning…
Unlucky for some. Especially if you bought Eze, captained him, and made him the subject of a £100 bet to get some fucking Hufflepuff to follow you. Which XI players of crystallised anal essence made the hallowed halls this week. Let’s get this over with. SANCHEZ – 4.6 – CHELSEA I still don’t quite know…
Gameweek 13 of FPL is upon us after the international break, and we are now in a crucial phase of the season where active managers will be seeking to gain an edge over their less-engaged counterparts. However, the international break has thrown some curveballs with highly owned players such as Mitoma and Bowen potentially missing…
SHITIZEN KANE Who littered the streets of filth this week? Let’s dive in and find out before we have to endure a Biscuit World Cup on Twitter FPL. JOHNSTONE – 4.6 – CRYSTAL PALACE 1 save in a 3-goal home loss to Everton is basically the footballing equivalent of a Darwin award. That’s Charles Darwin…
Join us as we look back on the FPL year so far with an eye on two key GWs that offered differing emotions for players.
SHIT BUTTY Jesus, Mary, Joseph and the wee donkey. To only pick XI from this plethora of pillocks is a job way above my station. At least once a season you normally see an FPL week this bad. But not this bad. Blackbox expert wanker AZ has 11 points. Eleven. That’s less than a point…
SHIT SHIT BANG BANG After a week off in the Maltese sun I return to this shower of acid piss. Let us waste no time, and dive in to see which 11 wastemen made the cut for excremental ineptitude this gameweek. MARTINEZ – 4.9 – ASTON VILLA This feels a harsh inclusion. But conceding a…
