GIVE ME SOMETHING FOR THE PAIN Crash, bang, fucking hell what a shitshow. 8 weeks down and the only positive to this season so far is that it’s almost 25% of the way through. Let’s see which pillocks littered the gates of hell this Team of the weak. ONANA – 4.9 – MANCHESTER UNITED I’ve…
THE DEFENCE RESTS Literally. What the fuck were these useless clown ticklers doing. More minus points than a fucking maths convention. Let’s dive in and see who needs to be metaphorically hung, drawn and quartered this week. TEAM OF THE WEAK – GAMEWEEK 7. EDERSON – 5.6M – MANCHESTER CITY A welcome return to Ederson…
Tripe. Shite. Piss. Which reckless simpletons have made their way into the hallowed halls of excrement this weekend. Let us not stand around aimlessly like a Brentford back four without Ben Mee. Let’s dive in. FODERINGHAM – 4.5 – SHEFFIELD UNITED If a team physically cannot defend set pieces, you have to look at the…
Which utterly useless pillocks of piss walked the plank this week in Gameweek 4. Let’s dive in, find out, and realise it’s a full 2 weeks until we have to go through this desperate dross of disappointment once more. ONANA – 5.0 – MANCHESTER UTD Rotating nicely with Pickford in this column, the new Utd…
Crash, bang, wallop… what a fucking shitshow. Let’s see which XI pillocks dropped the proverbial football this weekend. Well? Let’s dive the absolute hell in. ONANA – 5.0 – MANCHESTER UNITED It’s hard to blame a keeper when a player runs 70 yards without a tackle on goal. But also, simply lying on the floor…
Hindu Monkey casts his sobbing face over which XI players let themselves and their families down this gameweek. Yes, I know there is a game left, but I’m off to the seaside tomorrow to rescue some donkeys, so you’re just going to have to cope with this a day early. Let us dive into GW2’s…
Hindu Monkey casts his withering eye over which XI players let themselves down on the opening weekend of the Premier League season. Let us dive in. And gently cry ourselves to sleep if we owned these hapless fuckwits. PICKFORD – 4.5M – EVE 1 save, 2 points… this was not a happy start for Everton,…
Brace yourselves, readers, for the TOP ELEVEN DIFFERENTIALS THAT ABSOLUTELY NOBODY IS CONSIDERING. A list so scandalously overlooked, it’s practically a national disgrace. But is it with just cause? Who in their right mind would even glance at these misfits? Let’s jump into the post and ask, why does nobody want these poor, misunderstood bastards?…
Welcome to the only place in the UK where prices go down. That’s right, Fantasy Towers, who now treat player valuations with the same casual disregard that the central government does for the housing crisis. But who really stands out as the work of a toddler with an abacus? I analyse a dozen candidates where…
Welcome to HinduMonkey’s “Team of the Weak” – your weekly fix of agonising despair in the realm of Fantasy Premier League! In this series, we plunge into the depths of disappointment to unearth the most abysmal performers of the previous FPL Gameweek. While the world of fantasy football often thrives on triumph and success, we…
